Example 2
Nazario reveals the power of these stressing emotions when she also that when she illustrates his mom’s sorrows during her babysitting job, “The girl, so close to Enrique’s age, is a constant reminder of her son. Many afternoons, Lourdes (Enrique’s mom) cannot contain her grief. She gives the girl a toy and dashes in to the kitchen. There, out of sight, tears flow” (9). As you can imagine immigrants had it rough as it is without having deep conflicts like this.
Your first sentence is kinda confusing you can say something like Nazario reveals the power of these stressing emotions by illustrating his mother's....Also for your ic you should be more descriptive on how it argues your point.
ReplyDeleteI think your points should come across more clear and describe what your point is more.
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